Is Online Dating Destroying our love lives? Let’s Play

October 16, 2018

Online dating apps are very popular these days; we rely so much on our phones since we need them to stay constantly connected and relevant.

A survey conducted in 2018 found that 80% of people considered it “very important” to have their smartphones with them at all times.

Growing up, I loved video games. I would play Nintendo with my brother almost every day after school and we will sit in front of our TV for hours, obsessing about getting to next level in Mario Kart or Starfox or throwing down our controllers when either of us will win the race or defeat everyone and make it to first place.

Fast-forward a couple of decades and here I am again, this time faced with a new kind of video game, the one that I can’t simply ignore: online dating.

With the popularity of sites like bumble, tinder, POF, happn and literally thousands of similar online dating apps, the stigma of online dating has diminished considerably in the last decade.

More and more if us insist of outsourcing our love-lives to online dating algorithms, swiping left or right, double tapping. Let’s play.

Level one

Is Online Dating Destroying our love lives?

Level One: Yay or Nay?

We swipe yay or nay on potential matches based on a 100-character “bio” (often consisting of song’s lyrics, or “magazine reviews” about dating this potential person) and some curated photos with sedated tiger cubs or shirtless pictures at the beach.

Level two

Receiving a Happy Text

After exchanging some good morning messages and ‘how was your day’ a couple of times the app-lationship progresses to level two and you mutually follow each other on social media, expressing interest through a series of strategic likes, maybe some comments and emojis.

This double tap is our generation love language, but the same fickle finger can easily unfollow, block and delete a person who has sent a shady message.

Level Three of Online Dating

Level Three: Meeting in Person

In level three we take the virtual-lationship to the real life. But nine times out of 10 there is no connection and is game over and on to the next player. Reset.

The popularity of online dating is being driven by several things but a major factor is time. In our busy lives and our 9-5 jobs, online dating represents an effective solution to a serious problem.

If it feels so pointless, why have I and 36% percent of Canadians still play?

Well there is the obvious, in our increasing online world, it seems to be the easiest way to connect with someone. And weather is Tinder or Bumble or E-harmony, the gamelike interfaces of these apps seem to appeal to our generations.

The notifications we get “you got a new match!” make us feel happy and content and we want to keep playing to earn more online gratification. It’s an online addiction! It seems limitless and equally enticing and overall addicting.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfRajEWls7Z/?taken-by=tinder

Tinder , a popular online dating app, main feature is the instant swiping of choosing who you find attractive, swipe left for dislike and right for like, simple and fun. Is all fun and games but this can also make the person on the other end of the swipe seem disposable. And it is easy to forget that there are people with actual human emotions on the other side of the screen.

So where do we go from here? The game is inevitable no matter the format, but how do we win? Some research suggest avoid going online if you feel lonely or sad since chances are you are looking for some sort of validation.

Don’t take this online dating game too personal, we don’t need to seek validation from a pool of possible rejections of people we haven’t even met in person! Playing the game can be fun, but making a good connection means getting real. If you are really looking get out there and meet people in real life, make sure to check out events near me this weekend to try something new.

However it isn’t all misery and despair. While the overwhelming majority of romantic relationships still being offline, a small percentage of people that are currently in either a committed relationship or marriage suggest that they did in fact meet using an online dating app.